


Choices

by captainamergirl



Category: The Young and the Restless
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2019-07-25 03:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16188905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl
Summary: Dylan and Avery couldn't resist each other - if only for one night. They made love in the snowstorm on Valentine's Day in 2013, and now there are repercussions, mostly Avery's unexpected pregnancy. Who is the daddy though - Dylan or Nick? Who will she ultimately choose to spend her life with?





	1. Accept

**Author's Note:**

> Dylan will be dealing with his PTSD issues in this story. This story is endgame Davery.

**A – Accept**

"Avery, why did you call me over here?" Nick asked as he walked into her apartment. Right away he stiffened as he spotted Dylan inside, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. "What the hell are you doing here?" He barked at the other man.

"Same as you, I guess," Dylan said. "Avery called me and asked me to come."

"Well where is she?" Nick asked.

"Locked in the bathroom. She said she's not feeling well."

"Well neither am I," Nick said. The sight of Dylan made him sick. In his mind, he had taken advantage of Avery at a weak moment, while they were holed up in the snow storm three weeks ago. Avery had admitted that she had slept with Dylan the morning after and Nick had been doing everything he could to avoid them both since, knowing if he saw either of them he was going to explode. Right now he wanted to pummel Dylan so badly, it was unreal.

"The sight of you makes me sick," Nicholas reiterated as if Dylan didn't know what he meant.

Dylan sighed. "Look, Avery, is not feeling well, as I said. The least we can do is try not to make her feel worse."

"Avery is –"

"Right here," Avery said walking into the room. She looked pale and tired. Very tired. Nick didn't know why he cared though. She had screwed him over for the first and last time. He wanted nothing to do with her although the desperate, pleading, non-Avery-like message she had left him had peaked his curiosity enough for him to drop his work at The Underground and rush right over.

Dylan turned to look at Avery. "How are you feeling?"

"Like the room is spinning," Avery said, touching her forehead.

"Let me get you some ginger ale or a glass of water," Dylan offered. Avery looked at him with an appreciative smile but shook her head.

"I'm going to be fine. It's just … Guys, there is no easy way to say this. I could try to sugarcoat it somehow but I know once the sugar melted away, the bitterness would remain … What I am trying to say is that the night I made love to Dylan –"

Nick threw up a hand. "I do not want to hear this."

"You have to," Avery said. "Because this effects you too. The night Dylan and I were together, I hurt you both so much. I hurt you, Nick, because I betrayed your trust and I hurt you, Dylan, because I told you we could never be together again. Essentially, I abused both of your trust in me. And it's not going to get any easier, or any less complicated with what I have to tell you."

"Just spit it out!" Nick snapped.

"I'm pregnant," Avery said, her voice shaky.

Nick felt the ground fall out beneath his feet. "Are you saying Dylan knocked you up?"

"That's not what I'm saying," Avery answered. Nick looked at Dylan and couldn't help but relish the pain in his eyes. "I am saying I was stupid and thoughtless and now I don't… Well, either one of you could be the father."

Nick growled and immediately threw back his arm, launching a fist at Dylan's too-pretty face. Dylan looked shocked as he grabbed his nose which was immediately leaking blood. "I don't want to fight, Nicholas," he snapped.

"Well we're going to. You did something truly disgusting and I want you to pay."

"Stop it!" Avery screamed as Nick went to punch Dylan again. Dylan responded this time by blocking the hit, grabbing Nick by the arm, and forcing him to the ground, his foot coming to rest on Nick's neck.

"What the –" Nick tried to buck underneath Dylan's foot but he was holding him steady. Dylan's blue eyes had taken on a crazed, faraway look. Nick didn't know what to make of it except to think that this man must be insane.

Avery pounded on Dylan's back. "Let go of him, Dylan. Let go!"

Dylan finally seemed to come out whatever trance he had been in and moved his foot from Nick's neck. He then had the audacity to offer Nick his hand to pull him up. Nick just shoved it away and then catapulted to his feet. He considered taking another swing at Dylan but resisted as he noticed the tears streaming down Avery's face.

"Please, you guys, stop it. Stop this pissing contest already! The truth is that one of you is going to be a father. As soon as it's safe to have an amniocentesis, I will let you both know who that is, but until then you need to try to accept each other in my life. I can't have you too at each other's necks constantly. So just stop it – for the sake of the baby if nothing else. Stress can't be good for him or her."

Nick waved his hand at Dylan. "I can play nice if he can."

"Ditto," Dylan replied.

"But let's make one thing clear, Avery," Nick said. "I am only hanging around because of this baby. You and I have nothing left after what you and he did. Can you accept that?"

Avery nodded slowly. "I have to."


	2. Burden

**B – Burden**

"I've always wanted to be a father," Dylan admitted in a quiet voice as he brought Avery a warm cup of hot chocolate, placing it in her tiny ivory hands. He looked at her closely, observing the tear tracks on her face. She looked utterly miserable. Following her revelation that she was pregnant and didn't know which of the two men was the father; Nick had snapped out some nasty words and then stomped out. Dylan had stayed behind and tried to comfort her. He didn't exactly relish being in this position either because he knew it couldn't end well but at the same time, having the chance to be in Avery's life again, even in some small way, was everything.

Avery looked up at Dylan as he sat on the edge of the end table, watching her. "I know you did. I mean, you never exactly said the words to me but I – I knew. You'd be excellent at playing daddy too… Truthfully, there was a time when having a baby with you would have been the best thing to ever happen to me."

Dylan rubbed his cheek and looked away, not wanting to see the expression in her eyes, whatever it may be. "And now, it would be a burden, I guess," he said. "You love Nick and you don't want anyone or anything to mess that up."

Avery sighed loudly and took a small sip of her drink which Dylan saw from the periphery of his eye line. "I do love Nick, Dylan, so much. We – well, I assumed anyway - that we would have kids together one day. I didn't expect it to be like this. Not knowing if he's the father of this child or if you are. I have made a complete mess out of things."

"You didn't do it alone, Avery. You didn't make a mess of things all on your own."

"I should have had more control that night, Dylan," she said in a whispered voice. "But being so close to you again, having your hand on mine and your lips touching me, I couldn't stop. I couldn't say no."

Dylan finally turned to look at her. "I am so sorry that I took advantage of you."

"Nick thinks you did, maybe, but I don't. I think actually, that I took advantage of you. I took advantage of both of you. I feel horrible about it. I'm a horrible person, just like my sister has always said."

"Well, from what I remember of Phyllis, she's really in no position to point fingers," Dylan murmured. "We all make mistakes and you didn't take advantage of me because I wanted that – I wanted _you_ – more than I ever wanted anyone. I still do."

"Dylan …"

"Even if this baby is not mine, Avery, it doesn't even matter." He watched her set down her mug and he reached for her hands, staring into her eyes earnestly. "Because I want to be in your life, no matter what. I want you. I always have, ever since the day we met."

"Dylan…" Avery sighed and a new tear slid down her pink cheek. She withdrew her hands from his grasp. "It's not that simple. I love Nick. I promised him that we would be together..."

"Maybe you promised him that because you didn't know that I was alive at the time. Now you do know it and you and me - we can have everything that we wanted so much before." He was desperate to make her see that they belonged together, that he was not even half of a man without her. His heart would be broken all over again if she sent him away; if she said that she no longer loved him. But he had to know. He had to know if that was the case so that he could stop wishing for things that might never be.

"Would you want that, Avery? Would you want a future with me, the one we could have had before?"

Avery looked away. "I don't know, Dylan - so much has changed since then. The only thing I do know for sure is that I need to think about my son or daughter. They need to be my first priority, my only priority really. Can you just – can you just –"

He knew what she meant. Even if she couldn't say it, he knew what she wanted to ask him. "Yeah. I can go." He grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair. He moved towards the door. "If you need anything…"

Avery nodded. "I'll call you if I do. I promise."

Dylan sighed and walked out of the loft, feeling that once again, he had lost her.


	3. Cupcakes

**C – Cupcakes**  
  
Avery slammed the plastic bowl down onto the counter and began to mix the batter furiously. Her arm literally ached with the intensity of it. She was quite literally drilling through the chocolate stickiness like it was hardening cement. She already had finished three batches thus far and intended to make as many cupcakes as she could before she completely ran out of baking supplies. When life fell apart, some people got shit-faced or found comfort in illicit things such as hooking up with random people. Avery, however, found comfort in making cupcakes. Or she used to. Right now, nothing was making her anger, frustration, sadness and extreme embarrassment dissipate.  
  
Her “lovely” sister Phyllis had stopped by earlier that morning to share the news that everyone knew of Avery’s predicament. Phyllis even threatened to make it headline news in her magazine. Avery could easily sue her sister for liable, but what was the point? Avery had done what she was accused of. She had used two really good men and now she didn’t know which of them was going to call themselves “Daddy” after the end of all of this.  
  
She beat the batter now until it was sloshing over her usually pristine white counter as she thought of her sister’s taunting words.  
  
_“You don’t know who your baby daddy is. That’s rich,” Phyllis said, tossing her mane of red hair and circling Avery like she was a lioness closing in for the kill.  
  
“Phyllis, don’t go there,” Avery said. “You didn’t know who Summer’s father was either. Summer was born of an extramarital affair.”  
  
Phyllis snickered. “I admitted my sins and I paid penance for them, dear sister. I never tried to play the doe-eyed ingénue though and make everyone think that I was something that I wasn’t. You pretend to be so high and mighty and perfect when the truth is you’re no better than anyone else. You're a hypocrite and that is a helluva worse than just being a slut.”  
  
Avery crossed her arms. “Phyllis, I have never pretended to be perfect and I also never took any pleasure in your pain the way you seem to be doing here.”  
  
“Bullshit. Total bullshit. You enjoyed stealing Nick from me. Don’t deny it.”  
  
“We got together  after you had destroyed your marriage by bedding down with Ronan, if I remember correctly.”  
  
Phyllis smirked. “I may have lost Nicholas, but you're right - I do take pleasure in knowing that I had years and years with him at my side while you only got a few cheap, insignificant months. He hates you and when the DNA test comes in, he’s still going to hate you, especially if the baby is not his.”  
  
“Get out!” Avery snapped. She wanted to cry but she refused to do so in front of Phyllis.  
  
“Fine. Throw me out. It doesn’t make any of what I said less true. You are a whore and a hypocrite. I have waited a long time for you to fall from your pedestal and now that you have, I’m going to enjoy watching you squirm.”_  
  
And then Phyllis was gone and Avery had been so upset that she’d began baking. And crying. By the time the tears had dried, the first batch was done. Now she had thirty-six cupcakes cooling on the rack and not a thing to do with them. She could eat some but the so-called morning sickness that actually plagued her all throughout the day would make it impossible. Maybe she could frost some now and give them away.  
  
Maybe she could take them to Dylan, she thought. Or Nick, she silently added. Then she realized that the idea was stupid. It was definitely stupid to think cupcakes would make anything better.   
  
But she wanted to talk to someone; she _needed_ to. Making cupcakes was usually her happy place but not today.  
  
She tried to think of anyone who might be sympathetic to her plight though and was drawing a blank. Then she thought of Sharon Collins. Sharon had been so understanding about her relationship with Nick. She had been so supportive too when Avery told her about her history with Dylan and that first amazing cup of coffee that they’d shared that had started her tumultuous relationship with the man she had left her husband Joe for.  
  
“Sharon,” Avery murmured. “She will understand. I hope.” She immediately reached for the greasy frosting she had made and began to frost a plate of cupcakes.  
  
XoXoXo  
  
Avery drove across town with the cupcakes on the seat beside her. She wondered if she was doing the right thing by reaching out to Nick’s ex-wife, but decided she had no choice. No one else really wanted a thing to do with her. Except Dylan. _Oh Dylan._ But reaching out to him would only muddy the water more.  
  
Still, the thought of his sweet declaration that he didn’t care if he was the baby’s father or not, often played in her mind. No matter how much she tried not to think about his words or about him period, he was there in her consciousness. She still loved him. She knew though that they couldn’t go back. For one night, they had. For one night, she had entertained a fantasy that they could have a future together but look at what a mess it had caused.  
  
She arrived at Sharon’s and pulled in the driveway behind her car. A truck was at the curb but she paid no attention to it as she grabbed the plate off the seat and climbed out. She hurried up the front walk and juggled the plate in her slender arms as she pushed down on the doorbell.  
  
She heard indistinguishable voices inside and wondered who was here. The door opened and Sharon was suddenly standing here. “Sharon, hi. I am sorry to just drop by but –“ Avery broke off as none other than Dylan walked out down the stairs.   
  
_Sans tee-shirt._


	4. Devastation

**D – Devastation**  
  
Avery wasn’t prepared for the sight of Dylan coming down the stairs without a shirt and was definitely not prepared for the force of the devastation that sunk into her heart. Dylan had a fabulous body; she knew that better than anyone, but why did Sharon have to be enjoying the sight of it too? At least she figured Sharon was enjoying it because well, what woman wouldn’t?  
  
The plate of cupcakes nearly hit the floor because her hands were shaking so much, but she managed to hold them out to Sharon and the other woman took them with a smile. “Avery, what are you doing here?” Sharon asked with a friendly smile. An innocent smile. Maybe she hadn’t just been having sex with Dylan … Not that Avery could stop them or blame them. They were two consenting adults. Why shouldn’t they enjoy other’s company? They were two heartbreakingly attractive people…  
  
_Oh stop torturing yourself, Avery, you neurotic freak,_ she thought. She looked at Sharon, trying to avoid looking at Dylan. “I was just uh, in the neighborhood, and thought you might like some cupcakes.” God, that sounded so lame but it was _mostly_ true.  
  
Sharon looked at the cupcakes and smiled. “I’d love to have them.” She turned to face Dylan with a smile on her face and this time Avery’s eyes travelled to his. Their gazes locked and Avery blushed furiously before looking away again. “Dylan, would you like to have one? I can fix some tea and we can all sit down and enjoy them together. Avery’s baking skills are legendary.”  
  
“I remember,” Dylan said and she felt his gaze burning into her. “But I really want to get to work on roof while the sun is still shining. You two … have fun.”  
  
And then Dylan was gone. Sharon turned back to face Avery who’s cheeks still felt red and flushed. “Avery, the offer still stands. Tea and your cupcakes? It will have to be green tea because of your condition but-” She broke off as she saw the look in Avery’s eyes. “Oh sorry. I take it you didn’t want anyone to know.”  
  
“No, but the truth is all over town anyway, at least according to my dear sister… I guess Dylan told you.”  
  
“Actually, no. It was Nick.” Sharon now was the one blushing. “It was perfectly innocent. He was really upset and I insisted he tell me what was wrong and I guess we were overheard because you’re right, a lot of people know now.”  
  
“That I’m a skank.” Avery didn’t know how she felt about Nick sharing confidences with his ex-wife but then realized she had come to do the same thing, so there was no reason to be this upset.  
  
“No way. Don’t let Phyllis into your head. I am sure that’s what she said.”  
  
“Basically,” Avery admitted. “She took great pleasure in telling me what a whore and a hypocrite I am.”  
  
“Gee, why that sounds vaguely familiar?” Sharon said facetiously. “For what it’s worth though, I am sorry it’s your sister doing the taunting.”  
  
“Me too.” Avery looked at the door, looking for an escape, but Sharon quickly set the cupcakes down on a side table and reached for Avery’s arm.  
  
“Sit down. You look exhausted and I really would like to talk to you.” She led Avery over to the sofa and Avery nodded, sinking down onto the plush cushions.  
  
“I’ll be right back with plates, napkins, and some warm tea.”  
  
Avery thanked her and watched her go. Her eyes then traveled to the staircase, wondering if she would catch a sight of Dylan but he wasn’t there. She heard hammering somewhere above them, but that was the only hint that he was still nearby.  
  
Sharon returned in no time and set down the plates and warm cups of tea. Avery didn’t think she could hold anything down at the moment so she just held the cup in her tiny hands, feeling the heat of it, wishing it would fill her up.  
  
Sharon, meanwhile, made a big show of saying how much she enjoyed the cupcakes. Avery forced a smile. “I’m glad that you like them.”  
  
Avery didn’t realize she was doing it at first, but her eyes moved towards the staircase again and Sharon said, “You know, this isn’t what it looked like. Dylan is just -”  
  
Avery held up a hand. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. Dylan and I aren’t together anymore so he’s free to be with anyone he chooses.”  
  
“But that’s sort of it,” Sharon said. “He doesn’t want to be with anyone – _except you.”_  
  
Avery sighed. “Sharon, you don’t have to-“  
  
“I mean it, Avery. He really loves you. In fact, that’s mostly what we talk about. You. He is just here for a bit to patch my roof. It was nearly destroyed in that storm a few weeks ago. He’s offered to fix it in return for room and board.”  
  
Avery gulped. “He’s staying here?”  
  
“Uh huh, but there is nothing going on. He had his shirt off because it’s hot doing labor like that, even in early spring. He was just going to grab a glass of water when –“  
  
“When I showed up.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Was I too cold to him?” Avery asked worriedly.  
  
Sharon chuckled. “A little, but I can understand why. This is a really hard situation that you’re going through. Your emotions are heightened too by hormones. Everything is confusing. But I understand better than anyone that sometimes it’s hard to let go. Not that you have to. If you want to be with Dylan …”  
  
“I will always love Dylan, but I don’t think we can be together. He deserves better than what I can give him. And I’m afraid –“  
  
“If you let him back in, you’ll lose him again?” Sharon guessed.  
  
Avery didn’t reply. There was no need to. Sharon had guessed the primary truth of it.  
  
“Look, can I give you a word of advice”?”  
  
Avery nodded. “Yes…”  
  
“Dylan is the type of man who will wait around forever for you to say well, ‘stay’. But it’s not fair for him to have to live in limbo like that. It’s not fair to you either so I recommend you two at least sit down and talk one day. You can do it in neutral territory, maybe at a secluded table at Crimson Lights. Just give yourselves time to discuss everything.”  
  
Avery looked at Sharon. Tears glistened in her eyes. “I just may have to do that. Thanks, Sharon.”  
  
“Yes, anytime,” Sharon said and squeezed her arm.  
  
Avery’s eyes moved to the staircase one more time and she sighed, very much missing the sight of Dylan. Very much missing everything about him, period.


	5. Enduring

**E – Enduring**  
  
The following day, after enduring a truly sleepless night, Avery texted Dylan asking him to meet her at Crimson Lights. He replied that he would be there at noon and she arrived twenty minutes early out of pure nervousness. She shouldn’t have been surprised though when she walked in and saw him already sitting there, at a table in the back of the establishment. She couldn’t help but smile, though a tad nervously, as he stood and pulled out a chair for her. She murmured a “thank you” and her hand tingled where her fingers accidentally grazed his. He was wearing a black button-down shirt and looking incredibly handsome as always. The way his blue eyes locked on hers made her shiver a bit.  
  
He seemed to notice her trembling and asked her, “Are you cold?”  
  
“Uh …” How did she explain this? She couldn’t begin to do so, so she just nodded. “Yeah, a bit, I guess.” Before she could stop him, he was moving out of his seat, pulling his bomber jacket off of the back of his chair and tucking it around her shoulders. “Thanks,” she murmured and for a moment was tempted to bury her face in the fabric because it felt so warm, familiar and it smelled just like the spring-fresh soap he had always bathed with. Some things did not change and it was oddly comforting.  
  
He slipped back into the chair across from her and offered her a smile. “Can I get you something to drink? I know coffee is out of the question but maybe a hot chocolate or something?”  
  
“No, I’m fine,” Avery said. “I have trouble holding down much of anything these days.”  
  
“You have to try, for the baby.”  
  
“I do try and I eat as much as I can, really I do. But my stomach is all tied up in knots this morning.”  
  
“Mine too,” he agreed and she nodded. So they were both feeling nervous, huh? By now, Avery was sort of was regretting calling him because suddenly she couldn’t remember what she had wanted so much to say in the first place. If she was a nail-bitter, her fingers would have been chewed down to the quick; she was feeling that anxious.  
  
“So what did you want to talk about?” Dylan asked, trying to keep his voice conversational. “Is this about the baby? Do you know if-“  
  
She shook her head. “Not yet. But I talked to my OB yesterday and she says there’s a new DNA procedure that’s much less invasive than an amnio. In fact, it’s virtually complication-free and I can get it done at eleven weeks.”  
  
“So about two more weeks … That seems like a long time.”  
  
Avery nodded. “For me too. I want to know as much as I don’t want to. I don’t want to wreck any more lives, especially this baby’s.”  
  
“You won’t. You’re going to be an amazing mother. It doesn’t matter who plays ‘daddy’, because this baby has everything they need with you already.”  
  
Avery bundled the jacket around her and tugged the sleeves down over her hands. Why did Dylan have to be so wonderful? He was making it incredibly hard to walk away from him. And she should. Because she should be fighting for Nicholas, shouldn’t she? She loved him too, just maybe not in the same way. She realized that much.  
  
“Thanks for saying so, Dylan. You really think too much of me.”  
  
“And you really don’t think enough of yourself.”  
  
“Why are you so sweet, especially after what I’ve done?”  
  
He shrugged, rubbing his cheek. “All I can say is that you’re way too hard on yourself. In case, you’ve forgotten, I sort of wanted you too. Okay, I really did. I am just sorry you had regrets in the morning. And believe it or not, I’m sorry Nicholas was hurt. I truly am.”  
  
Avery believed him. A good heart, that’s what Dylan had. She sighed. “I honestly don’t remember what I was going to say now.” She chuckled a bit at the expression on his face. “But I’m glad I did call. We had a wonderful friendship, Dylan; I’d like it to continue… no matter what happens. I mean, I know it won’t be easy with everything but I lost you once and I can’t imagine you not being a part of my life in some way.”  
  
“If friendship is what you want, then that’s what you’ll get,” Dylan said in a quiet voice. “I am always going to want more but I also won’t push you for something you can’t give.” He held up a hand. “Don’t say I’m a good man for that please. Because if it were up to me I would be incredibly selfish and demand you come back to me, but I’m not going to do that - for your sake.”  
  
“You are a good man, Dylan. Nothing will ever change that.” Avery sighed again and slowly reached for his hand. His fingers felt warm and oddly soft and familiar despite the work-callouses. “I am so grateful you’re back. If I didn’t say that before, I am. I was just so shocked for a really long time. I mean, I tried to make peace with your 'death'. I thought I did…”  
  
Dylan looked at their intertwined fingers. “I wish I could have come back sooner. I wish that all the time, Avery, but I was so messed up after everything that happened in Iraq … I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to expose you to the darkness that sometimes can take me over. I only came back when I couldn’t possibly stay away anymore. But maybe it’d be better if I went again. Then you could move on with your life for real this time, with no looking back.”  
  
“That would be sort of impossible,” Avery said. “Okay, it would be very impossible when for the longest time; all I wanted in the world was for you to be alive. And you are and I – I can’t…”  
  
“You can’t be with me.”  
  
_No, I can’t stop being afraid,_ Avery thought. She might have said it aloud but suddenly she spotted none other than Nick stalking over to their table. He saw her hands joined with Dylan’s, and Avery let go. Even if she didn’t want to let go, she did.  
  
“Don’t stop touching him on my account,” Nick said acidly. “That wasn't a problem for you before.”  
  
“Nicholas –“ Dylan started, clear warning sounding in his voice.  
  
“Dylan, Mac, whatever the hell you want to be called, stay out of this. I only came over to ask Avery when the DNA results come in.”  
  
Avery shook her head. “In about two weeks, just like I told Dylan.”  
  
“Oh yeah. It figures that he would be the first to know. I was really just a placeholder for him, wasn’t I, Avery?” Nicholas spat.  
  
“Stop it, Nick. You’re making a scene,” Avery said.  
  
Nick shook his head. “Fine, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone but fair warning, if that baby is mine, I expect to be a part of their life. A big part. You’re not going to cheat me out of knowing them – especially not for this guy.”  
  
He then turned and stomped away. Avery looked over at Dylan. “Dylan, I’m –“  
  
“Don’t be sorry, Avery,” Dylan replied. “He’s the one who should be sorry – talking to a pregnant woman that way.”  
  
“He’s acting like such a jerk.”  
  
“He’s acting like a jealous man, honestly,” Dylan said. “His ego is wounded but he clearly loves you too. He may not be able to say it right now but he does. I guess what you have to decide now is if you want him in your life again. If so, you have to fight for him.”  
  
“Are you actually sitting there telling me to fight for another man?”  
  
“If that’s what will make you happy again… Then, yeah.”


	6. Father

**F – Father**  
  
The next two weeks passed far almost too quickly. Avery worked a lot to keep her mind occupied. Dylan called her every night though and they talked for at least an hour before drifting off to sleep. Sometimes she would wake up in the morning, hearing the sound of Dylan’s soft snoring on the other end, realizing she had never actually hung up the phone. Their relationship was intimate and beautiful but she was deathly afraid that she was going to lose him again – in one way or another. He said he could cope if he wasn’t her child’s father but what if he was just fooling himself? He was going to be devastated. Hell, Avery was beginning to realize that she would be devastated if he wasn’t her baby daddy.  
  
She woke up in bed on this morning and her hands instinctively moved to the little mound that was growing a little bigger every day. “Good morning, little one,” she whispered. “Today is the day we get the test done to find out who you’ll be calling ‘Daddy’. Is it wrong that I wish it was Dylan and not Nick? Nick doesn’t deserve to be hurt anymore but Dylan doesn’t either … He has tried to be strong through everything but eventually it has to take a toll… And I still love Dylan with everything that I am... God help me, I love him and if he walks away and I never see him again…” She rubbed her belly and sat up on the bed. A tear dashed down her cheek. “Never mind. All that matters is that you’re healthy, right? And my OB says you are so… I need to not worry so much. What’s meant to be will be. Isn’t that what they say? Whoever ‘they’ are.”  
  
She had never felt so unsure of anything - never so scared as she did at that moment. Before she could stop herself, she was reaching for the phone on the mattress and pressing it to her ear. Sure enough, she had never hung up the night before and she heard Dylan’s familiar, soft snores filling the line. She listened for a moment, imagining she could see him, and rest her head on his chest and listen to his strong heartbeat the way she used to when life seemed somehow simpler, even when it never had been.  
  
“Dylan,” she called and then still louder, “Dylan! Wake up, please.”  
  
She heard him stirring in bed and then he was answering, “Hey, Avery,” he whispered. “What’s up?”  
  
“Uh, I just wanted to hear your voice for a minute.”  
  
“You’re worried,” Dylan said. It wasn’t a question.  
  
“Yes… Today’s the day. But then you already know that.”  
  
She heard him clear his throat but when he spoke, his voice still sounded hoarse. “I do. I sort of check the calendar every day. You’re almost twelve weeks. Today’s the day alright… Are you scared?”  
  
Another tear rolled down her face and she caught it with the tip of her thumb. “Terrified.”  
  
“Do you want me to come with you to the lab?”  
  
_Yes!_ “No,” she finally said. “You have a busy day ahead of you I’m sure and –“  
  
“The busy day can wait. In fact, I already told Sharon I probably wouldn’t work on the roof today. You haven’t asked but I want you to know that if you need me, I’m there.”  
  
“You’re too damn sweet,” Avery sniffled. “I never deserved you.”  
  
“Don’t say that.”  
  
“It’s true … But I think I need to be the strong person I always claimed to be and go by myself. Though the day we get the DNA results, I promise you will be there. You and Nick both.  
  
“Okay…”  
  
“I don’t want anyone to get hurt, Dylan, but I should have thought of that before I slept with you like some kind of slut.”  
  
“Hey, don’t say that.”  
  
“Phyllis tells me I am a hypocrite and a ‘ho’ all the time. And you know what? She’s right.”  
  
“Hey, don’t listen to her. She seems really miserable and wants to bring you down too.”  
  
“She thinks I stole her husband, Dylan.”  
  
“I don’t think you did and besides, you love Nick and I know he loves you too.” He sighed softly.  
  
“Maybe he did,” Avery said. “But everything between us died when I told him that you and I had slept together.”  
  
“I’m incredibly sorry that I ripped your life apart that way.”  
  
“You didn’t, Dylan. I wanted that night with you. I wanted it so much.”  
  
Dylan coughed softly. “Then – then why aren’t we trying things again?”  
  
_I’m afraid to lose you,_ Avery thought. _Don’t you get that? I’d rather push you away than have you leave me again_. Aloud, she just said, “I don’t know. It’s complicated.”  
  
“If you love me… It doesn’t have to be complicated.”  
  
“Dylan, come on.”  
  
“You’re being stubborn.”  
  
“You always said you liked that about me,” she protested with a weak laugh.  
  
“I do. I like everything about you, Avery. It’s just I think we deserve a chance again, if that’s what you want to. I am sorry I hurt you; I regret that every day.”  
  
“You were presumed dead, Dylan, that’s not your fault.”  
  
“Hiding out for so long though? That was my fault.”  
  
“You explained your reasons –“  
  
“Maybe they don’t make sense. Maybe there’s a part of you that’s still angry at me.”  
  
Avery’s throat clenched and she choked out, “There is. I wish you would have come to me immediately. I never would have turned you away. You didn’t trust me. The day at the lake I said ‘goodbye’ to you and I told myself I made peace with never seeing you again…”  
  
“But me coming back… It upset the applecart in every way.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah it did.” She sighed and looked at the bedside clock. “Look I better go. I need to take a shower and get ready.”  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”  
  
“I’m a big girl,” Avery said. “I’ll be alright. And I’ll call you tonight. And then in two days, we should know if –“  
  
“If I’m your baby’s father.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“I can love them, Avery, if they’re not mine. I already love him or her.”  
  
“I know you can,” she said. She sniffled. “Look, I really do have to go so…”  
  
“Alright … Bye.”  
  
“Bye, Dylan.”   
  
Avery threw down the phone. For a minute, she allowed herself a good cry. When was she going to stop being so afraid? Afraid that when Dylan said “goodbye” it would be for forever this time?


End file.
